Ranma Influenced: "8p"
by eyk003
Summary: Mainly started as a fic to get me over my writer's block back in december 2001 but I've decided to continue it. Going through minor rewrite, story about a Ranma that has been influenced differently in the past. I got tired of those meaningful epic stori
1. Part 01

Story of a Ranma Saotome you have yet to see, told by Eyk0012 in fine tradition of insanity and written in a vain attempt to break a writer's block.  
  
I started this story with absolutely 0 idea as to what to write about. Now that I've finished Part 1, I have a couple.  
  
C&C appreciated.  
  
Took me longer than I thought it would.  
  
Warning: The mood isn't Dark, but there's violence. Nothing serious but I'm gonna warn you that people die ^_^  
  
12/01/01: Date this story was finished the firs time.  
  
2/24/02: Reread and revised. A minor rewrite is what it is.  
  
8p  
  
Part 1  
  
At jusenkyo, a boy fell into a pool and turned into a girl. His father fell into a pool also, and turned into a panda. They were both martial artists and they were both good ones. And now…  
  
= = = = =  
  
Ranma calmly wrung out the top of her do gi and put it back on. She scowled as she caught her reflection off of the water. A girl… she was a girl now. Given, that it was only part time, but still, the fact that Ranma Saotome, the heir to the Saotome Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts was female at present time annoyed him to no end. Going back to the camp, Ranma rummaged through his large backpack until he came across a little worn-out booklet. Taking out a pen borrowed from the Guide's hut, Ranma absent-mindedly put a check mark at the end of a long row of check marks. Under many lines of check marks over that. Behind of about six pages full of check marks. And in the front of all six pages of check marks, a name. The aqua-transsexual martial artist smiled. It was not a nice smile. Taking out a black object from the pack, Ranma walked outside of the tent.  
  
Genma was currently in Panda form, hastily eating the last remaining bits of their provisions out of sight from where his son was. The thought of sharing it with his son briefly crossed his mind, but there was just too little to share. Besides, his son, a man amongst man, would naturally be willing to forsake his food for his starving father, right? Genma's danger sense flared, but it was too late as he felt boiling hot water drenching him, turning him back into a man. He whirled about with a kick that hit only air. A few feet away, was Ranma in male form, one hand behind his back and one hand holding a now empty kettle.  
  
"Boy! What's the meaning of this?!" shouted Genma in what he hoped was an intimidating tone while he shoved back the food into the bushy shrubbery behind him, trying to hide it from his son's view.  
  
"Don't even try to hide it oyaji, I see you trying to hide what's left of our food." Ranma gave a sigh, a sigh that sounded like either he was very, very tired, or very, very bored. "Well, oyaji. It's been good knowing you… well, not really. I just wanted to see the expression on your human face before you died."  
  
Genma blinked, trying to comprehend what his son was saying. "What are you talking about boy?" Genma turned pale as he saw his son slowly place the arm that was hidden behind his back in front of him. In that hand was a black pistol, and its barrel was pointing directly at the elder Saotome. "What-"  
  
Deep within the forests of Mainland China, several gun shots rang out from an area densely populated with trees.  
  
= = = = =  
  
Ranma sighed as he slowly roasted the meat in the bonfire. Damn oyaji. He was family, so he let the greedy man live longer than otherwise, but this time he went too far. He threw his little booklet into the fire. No need to keep check marks on a dead person.  
  
Taking the meat out, Ranma began taking large chunks of the meat and chewing slowly, enjoying the flavors and savoring for once, a peaceful meal. He jumped to a tree branch high up in the air and gazed at the stars lazily, still holding the stick with the meat on it.  
  
The stars were especially beautiful that night thought Ranma.  
  
= = = = =  
  
The pig-tailed martial artist glanced around at her surroundings. It was a village, primitive by modern standards, surrounded by large wooden walls. In the center, two women were duking it out on top a log hanging between two pillars. Well, girls actually. They were both around his age and the one with the purple hair seemed to be winning. Shrugging, onna-Ranma made her way towards a large table full of food. Seating herself down in one of the chairs, Ranma absent-mindedly watched the fight, not paying attention at the food. The fight ended soon after and the crowd cheered. Her interest waned and she reached out to grab an apple and bit into it, without thinking. The purple-haired girl, the winner of the fight, made her way towards her. Ranma noticed that the girl was glaring at her. Standing right in front of her, the Chinese girl asked the pig-tailed martial artist a question in a very angry tone. Too bad it was in Chinese and Ranma didn't understand a word of it.  
  
"What?" asked Ranma calmly in his own Japanese. The girl frowned for a second, than answered in broken Japanese.  
  
"You take Shampoo prize. Outsider challenge Shampoo's honor." She leveled a bonbourri at Ranma. The tip of the mace-like weapon was less than an inch from his face. "Shampoo challenge outsider." Ranma sighed. Another one of those 'I'll kill you because you sneezed wrong' types. She was pretty sick and tired of trying to get them off his back, and found that the easiest way to deal with them was to beat the stuffing out of them first and talking it through with them later. Ranma, with a quick burst of speed, jumped over Shampoo and landed behind her, with a ready stance.  
  
"I accept." The girl, caught off guard only for a second by the display of acrobatics, charged at the smaller girl with her bonbourries and a battle cry. Ranma snorted. This girl had tons of openings. She either overestimated herself immensely, or underestimated the pig-tailed martial artist's skills equally immensely. Ranma nimbly dodged the strike and planted a solid punch into the girl's face. The girl flew back and landed with a crunch on the chair Ranma was sitting on only moments ago. The crowd around them gasped, and a withered old crone stood on her cane, watching the scene. Ranma dusted off her hands calmly as she walked towards her backpack. Suddenly, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around to face the defeated amazon. And to get a light peck on her cheek. Ranma raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Shampoo give outsider Kiss of Death. Shampoo kill outsider now." The voice was full of menace and Ranma sighed once again. Another 'You defended yourself now you must die' type. The pig-tailed redhead intercepted the amazon's punch almost lazily and swung her towards the table full of food, and as she threw the girl, kicked her in the guts. She flew back, and landed on the table itself this time. A large pot of hot tea flew towards Ranma and poured its contents on her, turning girl-type Ranma into the boy-type Ranma. The crowd around them gasped again. An ancient and cracked voice came croaking out from behind Ranma.  
  
"Well, who would have know? Looks like you have a jusenkyo curse, Son-in- law." A withered old crone stood over her staff, her long white mane almost reaching the ground. Ranma gave her a questioning glance.  
  
"Son-in-law? I doubt that, seeing as how I don't even know who you are."  
  
"I am Kuh-Lon, the Matriarch of the Joketsuzoku Chinese Amazons. And you, an outsider, have just defeated my great-granddaughter. According to our laws, an outsider who defeats one of our warriors must be given the Kiss of Marriage and be joined into the tribe." Ranma stared at Cologne and than back at Shampoo. He looked blankly at Cologne.  
  
"So? Your laws are no concern of mine." Ranma snorted and turned towards his pack. The old crone's voice rang out from behind him.  
  
"Oh, I think it will be Son-in-law. I do not recommend that you try not to oppose 3000 years of Amazon tradition." Cologne's eyes flashed dangerously and Ranma noticed slight tensing of the muscles in the wrinkled form, and the air around the Elder fairly shimmered with power. Ranma merely raised an eyebrow. By now, Shampoo had woken up. She was glaring at Ranma with hate and fear in her eyes. Ranma stared her down for a second before speaking.  
  
"And who's gonna stop me, you?" Cologne fumed. Something about the insolent male's biting and sneering tone angered her to no end. How dare this outsider mock the Amazons and 3000 years of proud Joketsuzoku history?  
  
"I am the head matriarch of the Chinese Amazon tribe boy, you are a hundred fifty years too young to oppose me, let alone three thousand years of amazon tradition." Ranma's hand flashed out at speeds almost impossible to see by normal people, and even trained warriors. But to Cologne, it was merely a swift swing of the arm. She was fast, and strong. There was no way the young insolent male could do harm to her this far away, and even if there was, she'd be fast enough to block or dodge it. Except a loud and clear clap of a gunshot rang out through the village.  
  
"And you're 9mm lead short of life, old ghoul." Ranma sneered as Cologne fell off her staff. The crowd around them gasped. Ranma, getting annoyed of the collective gasps of the people, pointed the gun to the nearest villager and with all the control, finesse, and speed of a highly-trained and powerful martial artist, blew his brains out. "Such annoying people."  
  
= = = = =  
  
Ranma sat on the ground, cross-legged, idly cleaning his gun. The wind was blowing gently and the sun was shining brightly. Ranma ran his hand through his hair as he began to whistle a cheery little tune. Several minutes passed as he finished cleaning his gun and put it back together. Leading it with a clip full with 12 bullets, he pointed it at a nearby tree, and took aim. Without taking a shot, he merely put it in his large Bag of Stuff. He felt an arm go around his shoulders and sighed. She left him alone for more than an hour now. He should be grateful for that at least, the pig-tailed martial artist thought to himself.  
  
"What is it Shampoo?" said Ranma lazily. The purple-haired former-amazon smiled.  
  
"Airen strong and very brave. Airen free Shampoo from too too bitchy great- grandmother and too too restricting traditions. But Airen…" she paused for a second and looked around their surroundings, where there were no people around for miles and miles. "Why we stay in dead village? It starting to smell here." No people that were _alive_ that is. Ranma merely shrugged.  
  
"I'm not your Airen, Shampoo. I said I'll let you come with me, but that doesn't mean I'm marrying you. Anyway, I was about to leave this place soon, so stop whining and get your stuff ready." Ranma lifted up his Bag of Stuff along with his large backpack. Shampoo nodded and ran towards one of the houses. When she came back, she had a medium-sized backpack on her back.  
  
The pair left the amazon village, on their way to Japan, a new life for one, and a return for the other.  
  
TBC..  
  
Next time…  
  
Why is Ranma so different from the Ranma we all know and love/hate?  
  
Further mischief in China, and maybe a return to Japan.  
  
Author's Note: It's been three months since I wrote the original part one and since then I've written and finished parts two and half of three. The quality have since degraded though, so I decided to rewrite two and see if I can get any good ideas on upcoming chapters. 


	2. Part 02

"Give the man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day."  
  
Warning: People die, and I'm very sick and twisted. Oh yes, and also…  
  
Disclaimer: I forgot last time, but whatever. Most of these characters don't belong to me, and those that do, are especially retarded so you probably will be able to tell who they are.  
  
Now on to the story…  
  
12/04/01: Originally finished part 02.  
  
2/24/02: Minor rewrite and clean-up.  
  
8p  
  
Part 2  
  
Somewhere in Mainland China, a village was burning. People fled, screaming for their lives. Houses were merely pieces of broken rubble, and anything not made up stone was ablaze. From the middle of this wreck of a town, rang out a horrible sound, a roar of pain and rage, inhuman in every possible way that a sound could be inhuman.  
  
= = = = =  
  
"So you say this town was attacked by a monster?" asked Ranma in a bored tone to the man in heavily accented Chinese. All around him were villagers, men working on rebuilding their ruined houses, and the women feeding the children or helping out the men. Their clothes were dirty and torn in many places, and their faces were smudged with sweat, dirt, and in some cases, dried blood. Most of them paid no attention. The man in front of him nodded.  
  
"Yes. One day, a giant beast with wings came into our town and ravaged it. We are a very remote society and we have a very severe shortage of food and supplies." Ranma nodded. Off the side of his view, he noticed Shampoo surrounded by rough looking men, in a tight hand-to-hand stance. Ranma turned his view toward his own group of men.  
  
"So you'd like us to help you out by being robbed blind?" The man shrugged and waved around a sickle threateningly. The others around him, six total, began to close in on him and his large backpack. Ranma merely snapped his leg up in a simple frontal kick, too fast to see. The rough looking man in front of him flew back with a glazed look on his eyes. The rest found soon found themselves in similar positions as the first man, and soon, all of them were heading towards 'the light'. Ranma sighed. What a waste of time. By now, women, children, and generally anyone else near the group had gone into hiding. Glancing to the side, he saw that Shampoo was laying waste to the group that had surrounded her. He watched the carnage with a distant amusement. Until a pail of water came flying out of no where and soaked him, turning him into a her. Ranma-chan frowned cutely, took out her pistol, and looked around for the poor fool of fate who was cursed to throw water at her. She cursed lightly as she could not spot just exactly who threw the water at her. All the better, she needed to conserve ammo anyway. Every since she set foot on the god damned training grounds of Jusenkyo, she'd been using the little black object frequently. Ranma-chan had been splashed so many times that she'd swear the damn attraction to cold water was part of the curse. The pig-tailed girl called to the Chinese Amazon in her native Japanese. "Let's go Shampoo. We ain't got time to hang around beating these guys forever." Shampoo stopped from brutally beating the man beneath her, who was broken in more places than he could count, smiled adorably and began bouncing towards the martial artist.  
  
"Ok. Shampoo done with stupid robbers, anyway. Aiyah, why Airen girl-type again? Shampoo no hear gun-shot." She asked as she hefted up her pack and began walking to the side of the (currently) shorter of the two girls. Ranma frowned and shrugged her shoulders.  
  
"I couldn't figure out which one threw the water at me, and I was running low on bullets." Shampoo nodded in understanding, and they both walked out of the ruined town in silence.  
  
= = = = =  
  
"Airen, Shampoo bored."  
  
"Live with it."  
  
"Shampoo have hot water."  
  
"Let's have it.  
  
"Ok, but only if Airen let Shampoo ride him like stallion."  
  
"No."  
  
"Ooh, Airen no listen to his wife commands. Shampoo tame wild, naughty Airen."  
  
"…"  
  
"Ok, Airen, hot water here."  
  
"You put an aphrodisiac in here didn'tcha."  
  
A long string of curses in Chinese left the girl's mouth.  
  
= = = = =  
  
The monster screamed in rage. Where was it? The one who had put him into torment. He'd tear him apart, limb by limb, and skin him, inch by inch. He'd… no, not he, IT now, thanks to that bastard. It would burn him alive and lay waste to this god-forsaken country for harboring such a bastard. It began ripping apart the house it was standing behind. Inside was a horse, unfortunately left behind by the family who had already fled the town. Ripping the horse in half, the monster threw the halves in different directions. It reached with its various inhuman appendages to rip out parts of his meals, as the stupid people who stayed to watch the spectacle screamed. Oh well, thought the monster. At least this way, eating isn't a problem. It ripped out another handful of grass from the ground and stuffed it into its mouth.  
  
= = = = =  
  
It was a beautiful morning. The birds were singing, the sunlight glistened off the morning dew and created a symphony of light amidst the densely populated flora around the light trail. And Ranma Saotome was currently observing something unusual about the trail that they were on. The front half of a horse, ripped messily from its hind half, lying in the middle of the road, pinned on the side of a tree, a large sharp branch covered in blood, protruding from the middle. It could have been that Shampoo had been trying to get him in the sac ever since they left the village. It could have been that they were completely lost, with the only knowledge of their location being that it was somewhere in China. It could have been that 'he' was a 'she' for the moment, and had been for the past few days, due to the heavy rain that the trees did little to stop from reaching the weary martial artist. Or maybe she was just a deprived psychopath. But whatever the reason, the sight of the completely mauled horse had a calming effect on Ranma-chan. Now only if she could have done the deed himself…  
  
"Airen, why you lagging behind?"  
  
Ranma-chan sighed dejectedly, and restraining the urge to kill the purple- haired Amazon, began trudging towards the waiting girl.  
  
= = = = =  
  
"So you say this town was attacked by a monster?" said Ranma as he dug around his Bag of Stuff. Repetition was so boring.  
  
"Yes. One day, a giant beast with wings came into our town and ravaged it. We are a very remote society and-" The village man fell on his back, the sickle falling from his limp hands, a smoking hole evident between his eyes. As he said before, repetition was so boring. He glanced at Shampoo, who caught one of the men of the four that had surrounded her in the beginning. The rest had wisely ran off. Again, the same thing. This was the third damn town to try to rob them. The monster was really getting on his nerves.  
  
Ranma was about to leave when he heard a loud roar from far off. Well, it looked like he was going to meet this thing that was causing them so much trouble. Perhaps once the thing was good and dead, the towns people would be friendly enough to give the two of them directions. The aqua- transsexual cracked his knuckles. "Let's go Shampoo."  
  
Shampoo looked up from working on a long and hard castrating (no pun intended) shiatsu combination on the man she had caught, smiled brightly, and bounced along with Ranma, and was promptly on their way. Correction:  
  
There was a splash, a short string of curses in Japanese, a gunshot, and a scream.  
  
_Then_ they were on their way.  
  
= = = = =  
  
As the pair sprinted through the trail toward the sounds of screaming and roaring, they began to see the side of the trail cluttered with parts of building, animals, and met with several people running for their lives. Ranma smirked. Looks like they were on the right track. Shampoo was a few meters behind, panting and struggling to keep up with Ranma's speed. The two had been running for almost an hour now. The monster chose a city this time, old-fashioned but still large enough to cover quite a distance. They both entered the city gates still in a full on sprint and made their way, jumping around the wreckage all around them. They heard a loud crash and Ranma, doing the seemingly impossible, sped up more, leaving Shampoo behind with a grin on her face.  
  
The two had been lost for a while in this god-forsaken corner of China. All the towns they had asked for help in had been ravaged by the damn monster. Now that he had finally gotten rid of baka-oyaji, he thought he'd be able to get some rest. He wanted a nice comfortable bed. He wanted to go to school and make friends like a relatively normal teenager with a gun and enough force to destroy boulders with ease. He would have been sleeping comfortably in a nice bed or at least a futon and going to school without the annoying presence of his oyaji. But the damn monster. . . bouncing off of debris set up like a seesaw, Ranma cleared a two-story house.  
  
To come face to face with a beast, three stories high, half bull on top, half… something resembling a mountain goat on the bottom, with wings, tails that seemed to be alive, and many, many tentacles flailing about.  
  
The monster took notice of the girl jumping at him. From the looks of it, she was a martial artist. A good one and probably insane.  
  
Oh yes, and a dead one. The BullYetiCraneEel+Octopus monster casually took one of his tentacles and wrapped it around the girl with uncanny speed. It looked the girl's way to observe her fear ridden face before it snapped her, throw her, or whatever it willed to happen to the redhead martial artist.  
  
Except instead of fear, loathing, hatred, pleading, or whatever it was used to. For the girl was smiling very cutely, and very psychotically.  
  
Oh yes, and that is very possible.  
  
= = = = =  
  
Herb, prince of the Musk, flew at high speeds toward where two fighters of notable level of ki were in conflict with one another. One of them he recognized… the other, he did not. But both were of considerable power, though not even close to his.  
  
A human gained extraordinary amounts of ki when fallen into that specific spring, and Herb needed that power. Though the use of any springs other than Nyannichuan was unheard of for even the royalties of Musk and also not desirable since the spirits of Jusenkyo had the tendency to choose its own victims, trapping a victim of its cursed waters for ones own purposes weren't uncommon, nor did it anger the spirits of the cursed springs. He, by chance, had found one person alive who had fallen into that spring. Though the boy named Pantyhose Taro had escaped him last time, Herb had succeeded in splashing him with the Musk's special ladle. Now all he had to do was drain the Jusenkyo cursed boy using a lost technique, recently discovered, and his powers would rise exponentially.  
  
Each of his enemies that he felled would make him stronger, and soon he would get rid of the puny mortals of the joketsuzoku (though the spy he had sent in he hadn't heard from in days) and deal with the annoying brat of the Phoenix Mountain once and for all.  
  
The ryuzoku prince curled his lips into a smirk. His cape billowed behind his back and his hair flowed majestically in the air, as Herb let out a long maniacal laugh.  
  
= = = = =  
  
Ranma's hand blurred as she swatted away the end of a tentacle. She shifted her weight slightly, and using the momentum gained from hitting away the tentacle, stayed in air long enough to kick off another tentacle higher up into the air. She came face to face with the beast and gave it a savage kick, at the same time launching herself to the ground, the thing's tentacles too slow to catch her or otherwise do harm before she hit the ground and rolled to her feet.  
  
"What's the matter, am I too quick for ya?" Ranma taunted leeringly, jumping back quickly to dodge an overhead smash from above. The monster's large fist cracked the ground below. Not wasting anytime, it pushed its weight into his fist, sliding it across to grip Ranma-chan. She jumped on top of the closing hand before it had a strong enough grip, and her form almost blurred as she ran top speed up the monster's arm. Before the thing could react, Ranma-chan smashed her fists into the thing three times. The monster roared, more in annoyance than in pain, as it flailed about with its tentacles. She grinned and was about to kick off of its face when she heard a voice.  
  
"Airen! Shampoo save you!" Ranma-chan groaned. Just when he was enjoying this, this girl had to ruin it all for him. She sighed as she spotted Shampoo frantically dodging the monster's tentacles. Shampoo was actually doing better than she expected, Ranma-chan thought as she absentmindedly dodged another set of tentacle swipes. Finally, the Amazon warrior tripped while dodging a set of attacks, and three tentacles closed in on her.  
  
To explode into gory bits of flesh and gore. Standing on one foot on one of the thing's horns, was the pig-tailed martial artist, with a pistol calmly pointed to where the tentacles formerly were. She pressed a button and an empty clip fell down from the gun, and she reached down to reload. The monster, finally woken from its stupor, opened its mouth to roar. That resulted, predictably, in a sound of monstrous rage.  
  
And as an added side effect, a brain full of lead.  
  
Ranma-chan jumped off from the falling beast and immediately received an 'Amazon Glomp' from the Chinese amazon. "Aiyah, Airen save Shampoo from too too scary monster!"  
  
"Get off Shampoo." Ranma-chan said in an irritated tone, pushing the overly enthusiastic girl off with ease (thought it couldn't be done, didja?). She hefted her pack and waited for Shampoo to do so. She was about to walk away when a loud maniacal laughing stopped her.  
  
"Bwa hahahahahahahaha… ha… Ha… hehe, hehe, hehe, hehe, heehee heeheeheeheehee- STOP THAT!!" Shouted the Prince of Musk to the purple- haired female who dared frisk him. Shampoo quickly jumped back towards Ranma-chan.  
  
"Look Airen, Flying-boy have lots of money!" She said excitedly as she waved the various precious gems and gold coins that she had taken from the longhaired man.  
  
"What?! How dare you! You dare destroy _my_ query and now rob me? But, no matter, once I drain your ki for my own uses and kill you, I will merely take it ba-" Prince Herb of the Musk Empire found that he could no longer talk. And he felt an intense pain originating from his throat. He gurgled as he struggled to speak and felt something wet flow out of his mouth. The dragon's descendant tasted blood as his vision of a redhead girl with a pistol pointed toward him blurred. It was the last thing he remembered as everything went black.  
  
Ranma-chan grinned, put the pistol back in her Bag of Stuff and motioned towards Shampoo. "Let's go Shampoo. Hopefully, we'll start making progress from now on." The pair walked away towards the road to the harbor.  
  
= = = = =  
  
  
  
Highly Personalized Weirdness  
  
Otherwise now titled… "8p"  
  
Yes, return to total randomness!  
  
Author's Notes: Part three have yet to be written (I scrapped the part three that I had originally written completely). Hope you enjoyed it ^_^. 


End file.
